


Chocolate Milk (and Other Ways to Obtain a Date)

by PastelGreywaren



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: AU, Fluff, I'll probably continue this eventually, M/M, Patrick is a dork, bartender!pete
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-30 21:34:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6441649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PastelGreywaren/pseuds/PastelGreywaren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Patrick really needs to get himself together.</p>
<p>                                ***<br/>AU inspired by this prompt from dailyau on tumblr (check them out!): “yes, i know this is a bar but you’re a rlly hot bartender and i panicked and said “cHOCOLATE MILK” when you asked me what i wanted to drink, now i just want to crawl away and hide forever”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chocolate Milk (and Other Ways to Obtain a Date)

"A bar? Really?"

Joe shrugged, "Yeah, why not? It's not like we have anything better to do. Besides," he continued with an easy smile, "you need to loosen up. Have a few drinks, pick up a hot chick. Or dude. Or both. Whatever floats your boat."

Patrick stared at him blankly before shaking his head. "Um. Right. Sure, whatever. I mean, I guess I haven't been out on the town in a while. Might be good for me after sitting at a desk all day."

The hearty slap on the back Patrick received from Joe after his musings nearly knocked the wind out of him. "That's my Patrick," Joe said with a lopsided grin, "now let's get our fuckin' drink on."

~•~

The bar was crowded and noisy, not surprising for a Friday night. The music that pounded in Patrick's chest and under his feet served to alleviate the anxiety of all the bodies pressing up against him as he waded through the crowd. He lost Joe a few minutes ago as the man spotted someone he recognized and took off into the crowd. Despite Joe with his distinctive hair and tall stature, Patrick was, of course, depressingly short, and couldn't keep track of him through the sea of people. 

A drink didn't sound like such a bad idea at this point, Patrick thought as he finally found an end to the crowd. The bar was full except for a few empty seats here and there, so Patrick went for it before he could change his mind. The man plopped himself into a seat and admired all the colorful bottles lit up by fluorescent sodium lights behind the area where bartenders were milling about, chatting with customers and fulfilling orders. Patrick's focus was broken, however, when someone stepped into his line of sight, blocking his view of the bottles. 

Before him, decked out in a white t-shirt and black suspenders, was one of the most attractive men he had ever seen. Olive skin, tattoo sleeves, and black hair styled perfectly, this bartender was obviously some sort of god. Patrick didn't normally go for guys, either. Sure, he knew he was attracted to them, but women caught his eye more often than men. Of course, this man happened to be drop dead /gorgeous/. Patrick's brain was short circuiting, and he probably looked like an idiot with the way he was obviously ogling at the other man.

"Hey," the bartender greeted smoothly. And that was it for poor Patrick. 

Go away, boner, think about something that isn't the bartender's gorgeous eyes and stunning smile. Old grannies, mayonnaise, spiders, chocolate milk...  
"What can I get you tonight?"  
"O-oh, uh.... Chocolate milk..?"  
God bless America. What the fuck, Patrick?  
"Chocolate milk," the bartender repeated, raising an eyebrow.  
"Sh-shit, wait, that's not what I meant... I-I was thinking about chocolate milk and it kind of slipped out of my mouth, I swear I don't even like chocolate milk, what's wrong with m—"  
The bartender laughed an easy laugh, and it was music to Patrick's ears. He was pretty sure this bartender was born from unicorn tears or some shit.  
"Relax, dude. I do the same thing. Like, I can't even order a coffee without having a nervous breakdown."  
"I-I'm not normally like... this. Y'know."  
Again, the bartender arched a brow.  
"Yeah? What are you usually like, then?" The bartender smirked and rested his elbows on the counter, his chin cradled in his hands.  
Patrick faltered as he racked his brain for a reply. Was Hot Bartender making a move on him? Or was he overanalyzing the situation? His stupid mouth then decided that this moment was the perfect time to act without his permission.

"Uhm," he said intelligently. 

Well, this is a train wreck. Patrick had never wanted a black hole to appear and swallow him up more than he had in that very moment. By some miracle, he managed to pull his thoughts together and stutter out an unsure, shaky, "Would — would you like to find out..?"

The bartender blinked, then a Cheshire grin slowly unfurled on his lips. "Asking me on a date?"

Patrick swallowed thickly, steeling his nerves before he replied. "Yes? Yeah. I am." Atta-boy, Patrick Stump. He was pretty damn proud of himself for the steadiness of his voice.

Hot Bartender's grin softened, and he held out his hand for Patrick to shake. "I'm Pete. Pete Wentz. The rest of my name is embarrassingly long, so I'll spare you the time."

Patrick laughed softly and took Pete's hand, shaking it. "Patrick Stump. And I'm sure it isn't that bad," he replied with a smile. Pete simply gave him a look, basically charming Patrick's metaphorical socks off. "You'll see later. It's bad."

Later. They had a "later". Never had a word sounded more like music to his ears.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I haven't posted anything in forever. Anyway, here we are. I found this story partially finished in my drafts and decided it was too good not to finish. As always, comments are appreciated!! Thanks for reading! :P


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